Yesterday hubby had his sleeve surgery. All went really well, however, it was so scary having to wait to find out. We left home Tuesday morning at 5.45am to get to the hospital by 6.30 check in. The night before I planned all my food, including easy healthy muffins for breakfast, a few snacks like muesli bar and a small packet of popped smiths chips, (only 69cals) I was set, I was going to have a coffee at Hudson's whilst I waited and buy a sandwich for lunch. I planned to do my hour walk whilst waiting, and maybe have a walk around the nearby shops....
That was the plan... What I didn't plan on was the gut wrenching fear I would get from not knowing how it was going. I have had 6 surgeries over the past few years, and each time he has waited for me. I had no idea the anguish he must have gone through each time.
I got my coffee and waited and stressed, and waited some more. I didn't go for a walk too afraid to leave, I didn't eat any of my snacks, just felt sick to the stomach. I felt like I was stuck to the seat and could not move, I only got up to go to the loo, when I thought if I don't go I will truly wet my pants.
At 1.30, the Dr had still not called me I got up and went to the counter and asked what was happening. They told me he was in ICU! I freaked out, with all the crazy scenarios running through my head, almost ran to the ward, only to find out, no he was never brought here, but up in HDU (high dependency unit) They had warned us this would be where he would end up. I got up there to find him sitting up and awake, although groggy. So many emotions relief/ frustration/fear happiness to see him.
Then spent the rest of the day into the night watching him come in and out of conciseness whilst waiting for the Dr to come and give an update. At about 4ish I spoke to my dad, who invited me for dinner as my sister was coming over. Immediately I said yes, I needed the comfort of family, and I will admit, the comfort of my dads cooking. He is Slovakian and can cook like the gods! (half my problem!)
So when I got there finally, they had eaten but he had put aside a plate for me. It was huge! I had not realised how small my portions had reduced. But I ate almost all of it. Roast Lamb, mash potato, Yorkshire puddings and veg with heaps of gravy. Then also a kranski sausage on the side. I ate all but the kranski, I had a bite to taste, but I had to draw the line. I knew that was just so full of fat it was not worth it. Tasted great tho. I felt ill after and regretted pigging out. I let my emotions win, and I'm a bit down on myself about it.
BUT... I did not eat the Kranski! I did not eat the offered Ice cream! I did not wallow in my discretion and today I got up JFDI and did my Cardio, ran some errands and headed back to the hospital for a visit. Took my snacks and came home to a pre prepared dinner of Beef stir fry. Which by the way was delish! I am under my 1200 cals for today and feeling good.
I can do this. Its ok to slide as long as you don't slip all the way back. I WILL do this!
Thanks for reading.
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